Tuesday, March 15, 2011

some key questions for 'twilight' fans

I have absolutely no idea why I was thinking of 'twilight' or why that stupid book is STILL invading my thoughts....however, my little brain was stewing over some key questions. Twilight diehards, feel free to answer or get offended. Twilight diehards who read my blog, please pass over this entry and keep following. :)

1. Can Bella locate Florida on a map?
2. If not, why is she in all honors classes? Also, why has she not flunked out of said honors classes seeing as she never does any homework?
3. Can EDWARD locate Florida on a map (it might be a little hard for him, seeing as he's never been there).
4. If Edward's been alive for 117 years or so, why hasn't he thought of using sunscreen to combat the sparkle yet? Or a lot of foundation. Or just white paint.
5. If Edward's heart doesn't beat and yet venom runs in his veins....he must be very sloshy.
6. Why is Bella such a loser? Why does she never, ever go anywhere in her town except the grocery store, her house, school and the beach?
7. Why are Bella's surrounding towns made up of absolutely nothing but a few lonely bad restaraunts, a clothing store and a spiritual bookstore?? (and lets not forget the dark alleys where the small-town thugs are hiding)
8. If Bella's afraid of blood, why did she marry a vampire, for heaven's sake?
9. Why does Edward, Mr Chinos and Polo Shirt, even bother collecting rows and rows of emo cds? We all see through that fabrication easily.
10. Why does Bella's dad never ever care what she does, even if she limps through the door clutching her broken ribs? And why oh why does he need her to teach him how to cook PASTA?
Ok. Rant over for now.
Also a minor craft note: I'm knitting a hat shaped like a cupcake. Tutorial to come!
<3 kai

2 comments:

  1. Well hello there. I realized I could just log in with my google account so I did.

    1. YES SHE CAN AND EVEN IF SHE COULDNT YOURE MEAN FOR MAKING FUN OF STUPID PEOPLE
    2. BECAUSE SHES SMART AND SPECIAL AND PERFECT
    3. YES HE CAN HES MAGICAL AND SPARKLY AND PERFECT I MEAN LOOK AT THOSE ABS
    4. You can't do that, silly. It's a vampire thing, you wouldn't understand.
    5. He is not sloshy, he makes only the heavenly noise of Edward.
    6. Because she's in love and love is better than everything ever. If I had an Edward I'd never ever go anywhere except his house and in my room to look at pictures of him when he's not around. Also, hanging out with thugs. Thugs make you hardcore and mysterious.
    7. Same as above. You just don't understand.
    8. BECAUSE SHE WAS IN LOVE WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND
    9. Emo CDs are full of emotion and help people let out their inner pain. You're mean for saying that, they're people too. With emotions. And love. And pain. And cutting scars. Everyone's beautiful IN THEIR OWN SPECIAL WAY
    10. He does care, and he loves her with all his heart, but he knows shes in love with Edward so it's okay. YOU just hate love, you love hater. I should burn you. AND PASTA IS COMPLICATED OKAY.

    PS: Jacob is offended you didn't ask questions about him.
    PPS: Rosalie is more offended.
    PPPS: Rosalie is so offended she's going to kill you and drink your blood.

    I should get a cupcake for this. Justsaying

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, someone's mighty obsessed with twilight. Are you team Bella's Dad or Team Rosalie?

    ReplyDelete